Not a good day at all

So I got a call last night about 8. It was my sister in law she said meet us at the hospital now. So we get all the kids together and drive all the way to the hospital to find my mother in law was having issues. I stayed out in the van with the kids because I do not want them to see her like that. After a while we find out she is dehydrated and is in pain with very low oxygen levels. So they are going to take her by EMS to another hospital about 2 hours away.

We drove home and dropped my kids off with my brother and went on to the hospital. when we got there we found out it was worse then we thought. She had to be given meds for blood pressure, to thin her blood, antibiotics, and 2 units of blood. She was going to be admitted to the hospital. So about 430 am she was admitted and moved to the ICU. About 4 the next day we find out that the cancer has spread and it is really bad now.

She was cancer free about 3 weeks ago 5 days ago we find out she has stage 4 liver cancer and now we find out there is a spot on her lungs about the size of a 50 cent piece, that 85%-90% of her liver has cancer, that it is in her bones and blood. It is moving so fast it is a race against time at this point. They sent her for a biopsy and now we wait to find out what kind of cancer we are dealing with. We were told it could be that the breast cancer came back for a 3rd time or it could be a new cancer.

We were told at this point all we can do is try to keep her comfortable. They did not give us a time on how much longer she has but we all know it is not much. Most likely she will not make it to our kids next birthdays. This has just been so hard for me and my husband. My kids have no idea that grandma is sick. I don't want to tell them and I do not want to let them see her like this. I do not want them to remember her like this. 

I just feel like I am being a bad mom because they should be able to see her. I do not want to take time away from them. But at the same time I do not want to ruin what memories they have of her. I hope I am doing what is right for everyone.